Secret: Finally revealed..

I am bisexual gay. I was gay from the young age of 8 to 16, then realized my love for everyone, which resulted in my bisexuality today.

I have parents who do not appreciate gay people, they believe it’s wrong and that they have no right on this earth. My mother especially, but I am hoping that it will one day change.. She uses the ‘F’ word whenever she sees a gay man either on television or even in public, and it just makes me realize that she is calling me that name. It only puts me further into the ground, not having the strength to tell her or my family. I will not reveal how I realized I was gay at eight-years-old, because it’s a personal reason that you will never fathom.

But, at the age of ten, I found out what it meant to be gay, and how everyone disapproves of it, some people said that even God hated gays. My elementary school  friends made fun of me from the way I behaved, how I walked, how I talked, and even my parents randomly brought up their opinion on how gay people do not belong on this planet. One day, as I walked home from elementary school, I thought about all of those things.. I went to my bedroom and grabbed a pillow and tried to commit suicide by suffocating myself. It took me several attempts and billions of fallen tears to accomplish. I then realized what I was doing, and couldn’t finish the job. I thought to myself, ‘maybe my life is worth living, maybe God put me on this earth to have the strength to stand up for myself. And that he chose me of the billions of people on this Earth to experience this challenge in my life.’

All of these years, I have been living a lie.. Walking the streets with a paper bag over my head, hoping no one will notice my existence. I have only told a few people, whom I trusted most. But, I have yet to tell my family. I know I will somehow find the strength to tell them, even my mother. I just fear that she will not approve and that she will shun me from our family. I taped Prayers for Bobby on Lifetime a few days ago, wondering what it was about. I cried for days, because it was as if I have seen my own life flashed before my eyes, and possibly even my future. It is the only film in my life, where I have cried for days over.. It inspired me to come out to you all today.

You can unfollow me if you wish, because it is what you were raised to believe. But, you know what? It only makes me stronger.. I wrote this for my own benefit, hoping others will be inspired.. Just know, that there are others in this world that love you and who are here for you, you know I am one of them. I love you, forever and always.

Devin Castro